793 Day of Normal After 426 Days of Madness
by CorprallFrond
Summary: After Sherlock's death John decides to keep a log of his life. He struggles with life after his mad genius best friend's death, a fact he can't seem to come to terms with. And if he can't come to term with his death will he ever come to terms with the words so long unsaid between the two?
1. Day 20

**Hello, this little idea popped into my mind and I just had to writ it down. I'd love to hear any opinions you may have. I also like suggestions. Please Review! **

**disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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Hello, my name is John. I've decided to start keeping this journal since my personal blog isn't so personal anymore. Twenty days ago my best friend Sherlock Holmes... well you know. I'd like to be able to actually say it one day. Maybe even write it down. I still don't feel like he's really gone. It hasn't hit me yet. I'm right back where I 's much worse than before we meet. Back then i thought I just thought I needed to adjust to civilian life. I didn't think I could have that kind of life as a civilian, but then I meet Sherlock and I realised life didn't need to be boring. Living with him was crazy, exciting, and flat-out mad. Now I'm back to normal and it's worse than ever. So after 426 days of madness with a madman I'm starting off the rest of my life normalcy.

-John H. Watson


	2. Day 25

**Sorry these post are so short. Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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I feel so alone. It's like after the war. I felt so out-of-place. People try to relate and understand, but they had no idea what I did, what I had seen, what had happened to me. The more they tried to understand the more isolated i felt. It's the same now. Sherlock and I were just connected. As cheesy as that may sound it's true. We just understood each outher...for the most part at never tried to understand. He knew he been through thing and he excepted that. He didn't pity me either like people did then and do now. He didn't treat me differently because of my bad leg. He still expected me to keep up with him. I sometimes wonder if another mad genius will themself into my life, because if not them I don't know what I'll do.

John H. Watson


	3. Day 36

**Since these are so small I'll try to post often. Please review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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It's been a while since I wrote, but it's not like anything has happened to me.I broke another mug today. That makes three. I keep making tea and pulling down an extra cup only to remember that there's only me left. Sometime I find myself just sitting in my chair staring at the place he should be sitting. I know it makes Mrs. Hudson worry so i try not to let her see me like that.I keep forgetting he's not just out-of-town of some case. I remember that case in Dublin. Everyone had been baffled even Sherlock had trouble. It had taken his about two weeks the solve. Almost every night he Skyped me. he couldn't waite to tell me all about finally finding a really challenging case. I miss him. I miss him and I don't know how to make myself better. Sherlock had become such a big part of my life, and now I don't know what to do with myself.

John H. Watson


	4. Day 42

I walked out of the surgery today. One of my patients was tall, dark curly hair. I saw him and thought for one moment one blissful moment I thought it was Sherlock. For that one minute I though. "Here's Sherlock with some case to insist that I leave with him now." Once I realised it wasn't him, and that Sherlock would never be able to ask for my help on a case again. I had to step out after that. Sarah came out to check on me. She invited me out for a drink after work, but I said no. I know I should try to be happy and move on. The only thing is that I don't think I want to be happy. I know that doesn't make much scene but I'm human and feeling don't need to make sence.

John H. Watson


	5. Day 58

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, and that this one is so short. Please review. Also I'd love any suggestion or ideas. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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I went to a café today. I can't stand to make tea anymore. It's _too_ normal. It reminds me too much that I'm making tea for one now. There was a woman there nice, pretty. She asked if I was busy later. 59 days ago I would have jumped at the chance, but I turned her down. I Just can't. It doesn't feel right. I know I'd just sit there waiting for a text calling me away that I know will never come. I think that would kill me, not that I really feel alive anymore.

John H. Watson


	6. Day 60

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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I broke down today. The whole thing just hit me at once. It was at the stupidest time too. Now Mrs. Hudson's insists on going to the store for us me. I went to the store, and for a minute I was so close to pulling out my phone and calling Sherlock's old number to ask if he needed more nicotine patches. Then I realised it didn't matter anymore. Because Sherlock Holmes is dead, and He's not coming back. There's no use in me ever dialing that number again, because I know that his phone is sitting in the top drawer of his desk cracked and broken from where he dropped it on the roof. As brilliant as he was even the great Sherlock Holmes can't come back from the dead.

John H. Watson


	7. Day 61

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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After my break down yesterday I went to see Ella today. I think it helped a bit. I was finally able to say that Sherlock Holmes is dead out loud. Because he is, and he's not coming back. I just need to get used to it. I don't think I can get used to I though. Sherlock had forced himself into ever part of my life, and now every thing reminds me of him. I just can't seem to get away.

John H. Watson


	8. Notice

Okay I've been working on other projects and I've gotten rather bored of this. So from now, or unless I change my mind, I'm putting this story on permanent hiatus. Sorry.


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